Thursday, July 16, 2015

Homestuck According to an Outsider: Lizzie

If you haven't seen the articles on Hypable: everything I know about ____ I learned from Pop Culture, well, you should. Basically, a person that isn't a member of a fandom attempts to write an entire article about the fandom solely by what they've seen in Pop Culture. I've thought they were hilarious, and so here goes mine- Homestuck.

I'm going to go on the Homestuck tag on Tumblr and pictures of characters, and write about what I see, what I think it's about, and basically give Homestuckers an idea of what the rest of the world sees your love as- or- at least me. Hopefully someday I'll actually find the gumption to start Homestuck, and we'll all look back at this article with found


HOMESTUCK ACCORDING TO AN OUTSIDER:
(I'm gonna be completely honest here- I've read a couple pages of Homestuck. There now you know that I'm not a complete noob- just 99%. You're welcome. Also, really sorry if I mess up and insult your favorite character on accident. I'm sure they're great.)
Homestuck is a web comic. That basically means you go on the internet and there's this guy that posts his comic on his website, and everyone reads it on his website and loves it and him for eternity. I think he has other web comics, but all anyone really cares about is Homestuck. I've seen stuff on Tumblr where people freak out about "updates" and one of my friends told me that the comic is in acts (like a play) so I'm going to assume that an act comes out maybe every six months? That seems like a reasonable amount of time, right? (I mean, the dude has to draw all of this.)
Homestuck is also kind of weirdly interactive- at least the portion I've read. It starts with this dude that doesn't have a name, and a message pops up telling you to name the dude. Which I thought was cool until they were kidding and made me chose the generic name "John". Then I proceeded to be weirded out with the "magic hands" that the narrator made me use. All in all, I was confused. Apparently Homestuck is like really weird for the first two acts, and then it's like a black hole of obsession and you'll never come back if you get that far.
I'm pretty sure that I read somewhere on Wikipedia that Homestuck is about John and two(?) other friends getting stuck in a video game, so I guess that the entire thing is about them finding their way back to their own reality. Along the way they meet some demonic zodiac trolls. Apparently, Homestuck isn't really about the trolls, but that's the only part that people care about.
Okay, onto the tag to discover more...

Vriska.

Hmm.. She seems to be going through a lot of emotional turmoil right now, and reacting in a non-positive way. Apparently she's kind of like Snape for a lack of a better description because like there are things she's doing that you're like asdfljga'l' !#%##@* you Vriska, but at the same time you know that she's dealing with emotional turmoil crap so you're like bby come here precious child. Like the Russians in Daredevil that did human trafficking but you still felt really bad for them. Yeah. She also appears to have a terrible self consciousness, that is constantly bullying her named (Vriska). I mean unless she's possessed or something...

 The number 8.

Apparently this is a reoccurring grammar error or another hint to the web comic/video game stuff. Upd8. That's gonna get old.

The Trolls.



Aradia: She's a really chill emo chick that writes poetry about super dark and feels destroying stuff, but is also like super nice and kind and helps people with their problems. (She must have secret powers because no one else's eyes are glowing.)

Tavros: He looks like the kind of person that would make everyone really uncomfortable about his condition because instead of like being upset about it he just rolls around making jokes, and he'll say stuff like, "What, is it because I'm in a wheel chair?" and everyone will be like, "oh no I swear!" and he just cackles. Kind of like how Foggy in Daredevil is always making jokes about how blind dudes catch more ladies.

Sollux: Ooh he's Gemini. It'd be really cool if he had an evil twin or something. Anyway, he's totally a no chill dork. Like I mean, he'd look super depressed, but he's wearing these awesome dork glasses. Rad, bro. He definitely doesn't care about what other people think about his fashion sense. He probably likes really obscure alternative rock/hippie music and watches underrated anime in his spare time, and when people tell him his taste is weird he's quietly like, ef you and turns back to his show.  Rock on glasses dude.

Karkat: Yeah, he's on drugs.
I am told he is not on drugs, but he just kind of looks so out of it??? I guess the poor baby just must be really tired from all his anxiety. I understand sweetheart. I understand.

Nepeta: This girl is the super cute dorky one. This girl is me. I am always this girl. She's probably super friendly and talks to everyone, and tries to show people her fandoms and when they don't like it she just tries super hard to find the kind of fandom they might like, and if they do she gets super excited. She's totally a hugger. And look at her kitty hat! Aw she probably has a pet cat! And what if her significant other is introverted, and she's extroverted; her so struggles with depression and her cat helps with their depression ahh that's so cute!

Kanaya: She's the super hot kick butt chick that literally gives no crap about anyone else.

Terezi: She's super extroverted and a thrill seeker and likes scream-o and shops at hot-topic.

Vriska: She's rockin. She looks like she's really sarcastic and sassy. Probably kicks butt. Probably a smart alec. Probably rad. I have a feeling that she doesn't get along with Nepeta very well.

Equius: He's a super hard core dude. He's the kind of guy that spends hours at the gym and is like, "Hey, girl, look at ma pecs." Probably not the sharpest crayon in the box. Definitely the team's muscle. Aw are those braces?? That's cute! I had braces once. (A million years ago...)

Gamzee: He reminds me of the Joker. He's their evil turned good friend that is always like, "And we SHOULD BlOW ThEM UP!" And everyone's like, "NO!" He's very fascinated with creepy things and explosives and someone has to keep an eye on him at all times. Also, he's kind of a dork, and paints his face and makes up code names for everyone in the group.

Eridan: He's like the team leader sort of dude. It's definitely difficult for him to condescend himself to everyone else's level. He's very serious, and isn't good at opening up and showing his feelings, but inside he's secretly an awkward nerd.

Feferi: She loves color and music and art. Very fashion orientated. Very girly. Probably related to Eridan since she has those fins on the side of her mouth. She's very quirky and loud.

The cherub things are good and evil beings or something. They must be like the demon and the angel that sit on your shoulder or something referencing the devil and angels.

The purple and white snake thing is their mascot.


John.

He and his friends got transported to this other world and are kicking butt and being awesome but also trying to find their way home. People ship him with his blonde dude friend I think (unless that's a different thing), but I've also seen some of him with the trolls. He's the main character and wears a rad costume of blue with a cute cape. He's a dork. I know that he's a dork.

So yeah, how did I do? What was the most accurate and least accurate. This was basically complete speculation so sorry if I completely get your favorite character wrong and offend you or something. I'm clueless.

A friend suggested that I update my theories as I read Homestuck. What do you guys think? Tell us in the comments and be sure to follow via email (under our archive on the right side), tumblr (links on the left at the top), or blogger! We also have a poll for you at the top to vote on what content you'd like to see. Bye!

-Lizzie




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